As many of you know three years ago Ryan suffered a horrible bout of depression and has been working hard at coming back from that. In fact this week he stopped taking his anti depressant and will be stopping his therapy sessions at the end of the month. I have finally begun after much time with my own therapist have started to get over what was one of the worst periods of my life. Having a one year old child and a severely depressed husband leaves some scars. Scars that make you doubt yourself and your ability to be a good wife, mother, and person. I have been spending my last few sessions not working on getting over this horrible time in our lives but working on me. I have been working on me because I am finally getting over the hurt and anger that has been associated with this time in my life. I have been working on how to accept myself how I am as I am right at this minute. Which for many women is a hard thing to do. To trust ourselves and love ourselves is not easy to do but I am starting to realize the valdity of doing so. So when getting my nails done and holding hands with a stranger for an hour I realized that I am ok. That what normally would have been a monumental task of taking a huge chunk of time off from work, planning to be out, doing the hospital thing, and the single mom thing while he recovers would have sent me over the edge. In fact a year ago when Ryan had hernia surgery I was over the edge. Yet, this time I have a sense of peace about me. That I am capable of doing whatever it takes and that it will be ok I just need to trust in myself and surround myself with people who can help me deal with the situation (thank you to my real life friends and the twitter gang for the mental release). I have gained the ability to know how to ask for help and allow others to get to know the real me.
So although my poor (very busted and sore hubby) has lost a few important body parts, I have gained the knowledge that I am strong enough to handle this or anything else that might come my way....