Trying to deal

I was hoping to sit down this weekend to blog about my recent weight loss ventures and catch up on product reviews instead I am a left trying to process what has happened.  I am a mother and teacher from CT.  I have friends who work in Newtown public schools.  I have a kindergartener who I send to school every day.  I have a classroom of students who I know I would give my life for in a heart beat.  For all those reasons there are truly no words for what I feel right now.  My two worst nightmares have come to life (a tragedy at my school and loosing my babies) just for someone else.  That doesn't make it any less scary that is not real for me-it is real.  There is no more telling myself it couldn't happen in CT, there is no more denial that although tragedy might strike my HS or my husbands but never my kids school.  No one could possibly hurt little babies, but they did.  There is no more hiding and no more denying that this sort of thing couldn't happen because it did.  My heart is broken