To go along with my most recent post I have also decided to work on figuring out who I am this summer. I have realized that I have spent much of my life pretending to be something that I am not. Any of my readers who read my entry for future prior fat girl nomination I mentioned this in my nomination. I have spent way to much of my life pretending to be things I am not....be it confident, or happy, or always trying to please others and pretending to like things I don't or be a team player when my heart says stand up and speak out. I have decided (much like the US did in 1776) that I have had enough. That I need to be free of being some (please excuse my potty mouth) a fake ass bitch. I know that the people who love me and matter to me will love me no matter what. They will be willing to work through this process of self discovery with me. I also think my immediate family will be better off with me knowing who I am.
Now I am not going to pretend that this is some easy thing to do. I have spent most of my adult, and teenage years too, faking it. So my goal for this summer is to begin to figure out who the real me is. Flaws and all. To realize that I don't have to hide behind humor, of a always present smile, or worst of all food. I know that I can express my emotions. Say what I believe. Enjoy that freedom that is what is my god given right and privilege as an American. Yet, I know that just like in American History there will be mistakes (Hello Civil War and Vietnam) but perhaps that is what makes American and me perfect....we are both perfectly, imperfect