Living in Neverland is tough sometimes



So I will start by saying some of you might not get this post...and that is ok.  Those who teach and love their job will and I know some others will too.  




I live in Neverland.....I never grow up.  I have been in high school (with the exception of the four years I went to college ages 18-22) since I was 14...I am 32 now.  I have spent more time there than anywhere else.  In fact for the last nine years I have even lived in the exact same room.  Although the layout of the room changes (I get antsy and I have to change my classroom layout every year or two) it is the same room...330.  To be honest unless something happens like we get a new school I will spend the next 25 years in that room.  Most days I love it.  I am so happy surrounded by the things in my classroom.  My posters, the desks, my desk with all my organizers and sticky notes on it.  Even on the craziest moments of my life (dealing with deaths, my husband's depression, the anticipation of the birth of my children) that room has brought me peace and calm.  Every day that room gets filled up with light and sunshine.  It gets filled with the laughter and joy of 100 teenagers.  Also, if we are being honest it gets filled with hate, anger, angst, and teenage drama as well (the kind of drama only high school seniors can have).  Yet, I love it even when the kids are bad, when I am told to go fuck myself, or when the stack of papers to grade on my desk are bigger than my dog.  








In the other room around me are dear friends-my second family.  Although sometimes we don't always get along I love them.  They are crazy, and unique, and the smartest people I know.  Even the Captain Hooks of my Neverland (my bosses) are sort like the Captain Hook on Jack and the Neverland Pirates-More clueless than mean.  Most of the year my Neverland is the greatest place on Earth and I get to be Peter Pan-The star of the show for 181 days of the year.  


Yet, there is one day of the year that I hate to be Peter Pan-Graduation Day.  Just like Peter Pan my kids grown up and they leave me behind.  I have spend the entire year getting to know them, their families, their lives and in one quick moment they are gone.  The hardest thing about teaching seniors, other than senioritis, is that they graduate. This year was especially hard, my homeroom-the kids who I saw every morning for four years in a row, graduated.  I was a crying mess as they walked across stage with diploma in hand. They all move on to the amazing things that await them in life.  The things that a teacher always hopes for them.  College, the military, jobs, families, and all the great stuff that life has in store for them.  I am not sad for them...they get to grow up.  I am just sad that I have to be Peter Pan and be left behind again.  


But-come the end of August I will get all new kids filling up my classroom with light, excitement, and of course angst...I will forget about the sting of having them "leave the nest" until the next graduation.  I guess it is a good thing that the other 180 days in Neverland are so great that I always forget about that one bad day!