A letter to B's Mom
Disclaimer-This is something I have needed to get out for awhile, and I know it is sort of cheesy but these thoughts have been in my head making me a teary mess. For those who are new to reading my blog B is a former student of mine who I have grown very close to since his mother's death a week and half before Josie was born. He is sort of a cross between a third kid and a brother. He stopped being just a former student a long time ago and became family.
To B's Mom-
This week will mark the 3rd anniversary of your death. I know we only met/talked a few times and that I was just one of the many teachers that your children had over their high school careers, but you have made a tremendous impact on me so I thought I would write to you (via my blog) something.
I know that when you were diagnosed when B was in middle school your goal was to be there to see him graduate high school. When it was clear you wouldn't make it see him walk across the stage in June they held a special graduation for B. I was there in the background-ridiculously pregnant with my youngest. B had asked that I be there to see him graduate and be part of this special moment that the school and the hospital put together. What you don't know is that in that moment you changed me-and my life. As I went to my car and cried like a baby, I made a promise to myself, to you, to B, and to my God. I promised that I would try and be as strong of a mother as you (because you showed me what strength is to fight cancer with very breath you took to see your son graduate high school). I promised that I would do whatever it took to be there for your son. I knew that I would never be able to replace you (who could) but that I would be there for him in any way that he needed me as time went on. I promised God that I would do my best to give your boy a better chance in this world, that he has been dealt a shitty hand and that I would try and fix that.
I thought that you should know that you raised an amazing young man. He is a volunteer fireman now just like his dad, he joined the reserves (I mailed him colorings from the kids and baked him cookies), and he is training to be an EMT. He has an great girlfriend who I know you would love (I sure do). He is going to 21 in May and he is to date one of the greatest men I have ever met. Sure things have not been easy for him since your passing-in fact to be honest they have been really rough for him. Yet, he is has come through it. He has helped me out in my own dark moments of my life, volunteers to watch my kids, and does yard work when my husband has been too ill to do it. He loves my kids like they were his own nieces and nephews-in fact he just got back from Disney and bought them gifts. This past week he even asked if he could join me and my children at a carnival at the school-for no other reason than he wanted to spend time with us. I know that this is because he missed you and we offer him what he misses most- the sense of family that you has always provided for your family.
I just wanted more than anything to say to you thank you! You instilled in your son amazing qualities and he brings such love and joy to me and my children's lives. I know to those on the outside it may seem odd that B spends time with my family-but I can only hope that if something happened to me that my children would be able to find people to help them out in their life journey. Plus, the reality is my kids and I are the lucky ones to have this amazing young man in our lives.
Thank you so much for raising such an amazing young man-I only wish you could be here to see it.