How does one know what to eat? How much do you when to eat? How much?
I know these seem like very silly questions to be asking but someone like me who has been struggling with binge eating and her relationship with food these questions are like quantum physics.
I honestly don't know the answers to some of them. For me I get the fundamentals...Ideally you want to eat every few hours, you should eat quality foods, and only till satisfied not stuffed (Hello any idiot with a computer could figure this out) yet for me it is not that easy. Honestly knowing what true hunger is, is hard for me. Knowing the difference from wanting to eat because I am stressed and a true craving is hard. Knowing what is a craving such as darn I really want some chocolate and being able to eat a few bites and be satisfied is such a foreign concept to me. I know that people do this and to me they are a wonder of the world right up there with the friggin pyramids. So seriously I don't know that I could honestly take a few bites of something I was really craving and leave the rest alone. I have done this but it involves me throwing said item in the trash after a few bites because I always want more than a few bites.
I know in my heart if I continue to work on intuitive eating, listening to my body, trusting my body that these things will get easier but still they seem so foreign to me. I know that I need to give myself time. I know that just like with learning to accept the image I see in the mirror I have to learn to listen to my body, learn what I am actually craving, and how to eat that item and not have it set me off into bad eating.
Right now there are leftovers from the hubby's birthday sitting in the kitchen (I wrote this post on Sunday and am posting it later on in the week). I indulged today and allowed myself to eat those things that I normally don't because it is a celebration. My goal is to realize that the celebration was today...not every day till the food is gone. I know I can do this, yet part of me wonders what a life would be like in which I don't think about the leftovers calling my name in the fridge. Maybe that day will never come but hopefully I can begin to trust myself and my body to just ignore those lusty calls of homemade pierogies a bit better. How do you handle eating? Do you struggle with how to eat? Or are you one of those lucky few I mentioned? I would love to hear!
