So this past week I have decided that now that my life has settled down a bit that it is time for me to get to work on some of my personal issues. One of those issues is that I really want to be ok with myself image. I am not saying that I want to become complacent with and stay at my current weight, that is not it at all. I want to be ok with my body and self image regardless of size or number on the scale. I need to work on this because if I am being honest, despite how thin I was pre babies, I wasn't happy at that weight either. I have always wanted my body to be something other than what it was. The only time I have loved my body was when I was pregnant because now my body had a purpose it was growing a life and I was proud of my body. So I decided that this something that I need to begin working on. Really beginning to take a good look at my self esteem issues. It is not an easy thing to do.I started to realize that I do not even look in the mirror anymore. I look quickly to put on my make up. I look quickly to make sure I don't look like an a-hole in my clothes, but I don't really look in the mirror. Over the years I just stopped looking. I stopped because I was always negative when I looked so I stopped that negative self talk but stopping looking. I know this isn't good but it is reality. So this past week I decided that I need to start looking at myself. Stop and take a moment and really look. The good, the bad, the lumpy...all of it. To honestly look at myself. I know that it will be hard. It will be hard to see an image that I know I don't like. Yet, I realize that the first step in accepting myself and image is to really look at myself. So here goes starting today I will be spending some quality time looking in the mirror...Yikes!
